BALLS (or lack thereof)

THWACK

Into the balls goes the foot.

It is not an impulsive act, nor is it impetuous or unplanned. It is the last, desparate act of a long suffering, defenseless nerd who has finally grown weary of torment. This image I am painting for you is not the nerd, however, because I think, by reading this blog, you've probably been there as many times as me, no, this image is the unfortunate recpient of the thwack.

Down he goes, and slowly, always slowly, and with a variety of expressions on his face that tell the same tale every time. First, there is a moment of shock, where he simply cannot
believe that you had the guts to strike out. Within half a second, however, is the sudden realization that he is very very hurt. The pain of a properly connected ball thwack with the foot is the most intense pain that any human being could ever suffer and remain conscious.

He always does the same thing, at this point. He is not yet resigned to his fate. He remains strong, in the misguided belief that continuing to stand upright is going to be possible for him any time in the near or even distant future.

As he slowly lowers himself to the gound, his consciousness inevitably steers towards the same variety of subjects. First, he is shocked and dismayed that he was so vulnerable in the first place, and that he had no idea that with all of his alpha dog style of domination and torment, that you always had this option available to you.

Second, to his horror, he connects the dots and realizes that not only was he vulnerable in this way, but that he had always been vulnerable in this way, and that you were probably always aware of it. It boggles his mind that you had never exercised this option before, but after all of his torment and infliction of pain and humiliation, that you had had the long suffering patience to avoid taking this avenue until this one final moment.

Then, finally, as he curls into a fetal position on the soggy grass of the soccer field where so recently he had been, in his mind, such an imposing and undefeatable figure, it finally dawns on him that all this time, you had been patiently tolerating him, forgiving him, putting up with him, unwilling to trade your freedom for the violence that you were capable of imparting in a single THWACK, because of which you were most certainly going to spend the rest of the day in the principal's office, and if it was a christian school, particularly the fifth grade (if I remember correctly) you were going to get quite a spanking, but it was all worth it, to show the biggest asshole in the class that he was not anything close to the person that he thought he was.

Life is balance.

-E